Parenting Tip #34 "How to Teach Your Children to Sit at the Dinner Table"

  Our three young boys went through a phase of not understanding the importance of sitting down for a family meal.  Most meals consisted of my husband and me eating and trying to carry on a conversation about our day through a cloud of various little boy body parts and action figures.  Whether jumping up to check out what was on TV, imitating their favorite superhero, or simply hanging on the chair by one “cheek”, it became apparent that they were suffering from a lack of respect for the dinner table.  

   One evening proved too much for my husband.  After several warnings, or threatenings to be exact, he decided to demonstrate what “Sit down in your chair!” meant.    Did I mention that when demonstrating proper behavior for children, it is an excellent idea to practice ahead of time?  Or that when one parent is demonstrating the proper way to “Sit down in your chair”, it might me a good idea for the other parent to grab the car keys and head to the mall?  Did I also mention that you should NEVER demonstrate said technique with an antique chair?

   My husband rose from his seat at the head of our table and demanded our family’s attention by stating, “THIS is the way to sit down in your chair!”  --At which time he added his own exclamation point with his actions.  From my vantage point, what I witnessed was one fluid motion that took him from his full 6 foot frame to disappearing underneath the table’s edge.  With a look of mixed horror and hilarity, all three boys whipped their sweet little heads around to stare at me…

   Did I also mention how very important it is to present a united front, as parents, when dealing with children?  What was I to do?  I slowly pushed back my chair and dipped my head beneath the table to find out exactly what had just transpired.  There at the far end of the table lay my husband in a semi-fetal position amongst the four splayed legs of what used to be an antique chair.

   There have been many times in my life that I have failed miserably as a parent but, none as miserable as this time.  Maybe I should have stoically added, “If you want a spanking!”  Instead, after nearly aspirating the bite of food I had just taken into my mouth I committed a colossal fail.  I, as well as, our children completely dissolved into uncontrollable, belly-cramping, wheezing-because-I can’t breathe laughter.  In fact, I have tears in my eyes even as I write.

   The goal of demonstrating proper behavior to children is to make an impression upon them.    From that point on, I do not remember having any more issues with dinner time behavior.  My husband left a huge impression on our three little boys.  They are still impressed today…along with the kitchen floor.