I am really not high-maintenance. In fact, my husband says I am “Low to No Maintenance.” But…I do like gifts. After almost 29 years of marriage, I admit it. Mind you, I’m not too particular about what it is; there is just something about unwrapping a gift that I enjoy. I think it is the anticipation of what lies beneath. Throughout our marriage I have loved everything he’s given me…well almost…except for that one Christmas…
Before the boys were old enough for school, I would pack them up and head to my parents when John was out of town on business. Part of the time, I was working, and so I would drive back and forth to my parents in my Pontiac Parisian station wagon, complete with simulated wood panels. One particular day, I was driving back after work, before the advent of cell phones, and ended up broken down on the side of the highway – in the middle of nowhere- well, not exactly nowhere…I was about 200 yards from a bar. Actually, that’s a little too dressy a term for the establishment. It was an all-out Honky Tonk/Beer Joint.
Here I am, walking along the side of the highway, stethoscope still slung across my shoulders, scared to death some of my church family was going to drive by (even though I was an hour away from home) just as I made it to the front door of the bar. Not to mention, I was completely intimidated by what I would find on the other side of that door. Thankfully, as God always does, He rescued me…again. As I was getting out of my car, a man from my parents’ church saw me, recognized me, and came to help me.
John said that incident was fresh on his mind that year as he shopped for my Christmas present. I, on the other hand, had no trouble with his gift. I bought him a bright red four wheeler. This was going to be a Christmas to remember.
Did I mention that I am really not particular? Well, maybe somewhat. Anticipation had almost gotten the best of me as I exercised some modicum of maturity. Unwrapping slowly and savoring the surprise, as long as possible, I removed the paper, took one look at the box and realized that sneaky devil had wrapped my gift in a box that came from ‘who-knows-where’. He was always up for a good prank. With a knowing giggle, I opened the end of the box and looked inside. That’s when I choked on my giggle. What was on the front of that box from ‘who-knows-where’ was my surprise.
That’s right! My man bought me a CB radio. You know, Smokey and the Bandit CB radio – eastbound and down, loaded up and truckin’… CB radio. A thousand things went through my mind at that moment, none good. Somewhere in the fog I heard him say, “Now you never have to worry about being broken down on the side of the road…” (Oh, and there was a loving smile on his sweet face.) I barely heard as I was hurdled into the future on some lonely dark highway, grabbing for the mike with the confidence of a big burly man and interrupting the airwaves with “Uh…hello? Anyone out there? I’m stuck on this lonely highway? Can anyone help a stranded 24 year old woman?”
Needless to say, the ride to family Christmas celebrations was pretty quiet. As I look back, I can see myself shoved up in the corner of the passenger seat of my sassy station wagon. My wonderful husband brought the radio to “try out” along the way. With the turn of the switch we got the scratch of white noise. Much like this…”SSSSSSSSSCCCCCCCCCCCZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZKKKKKKKKKKKKKK”. I sat with arms folded. “Maybe we need to roll down the window for it to pick up the proper frequency,” he said.
“SSSSSSSSSSCCCCCCCCCCCCZZZZZZZZZZZKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.” I sat with arms folded.
“Oh! We probably need to pull over to the side of the road for it to work.”
“SSSSSSSSSSCCCCCCCCCCCCZZZZZZZZZZZKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.” I sat with arms folded.
“Wait, I remember, you have to stick the antennae to the roof.”
“SSSSSSSSSSCCCCCCCCCCCCZZZZZZZZZZZKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.” I sat with arms folded.
He looked at me. I looked at him. And the front seat of my Pontiac Parisian erupted in laughter. We have gotten many miles out of that incident. Who would have ever thought that a gift from who-knows-where would have provided such enjoyment for almost 29 years?
