I am a firm believer
that people are placed in our paths for a reason. But for the life of me, there are some that I
have to question their purpose. One in
particular is a nurse that I have had the distinct pleasure(?) of being acquainted
with on this journey into the looking glass of Suzy in Serious Illness Land.
She will never be accused of caring too much, nor will she win any awards
for her bedside manner. One often feels
the need to take a shower after enduring a barrage of filth that flows from her
mouth. And yet, for whatever reason, she
has always felt the need to check on me, call me “Sweetie” (which I dearly LOVE—don’t
even get me started) and regale me with stories of her children, parenting
skills, and vast knowledge of all things in the medical profession. And how can I ever forget the time she offered
me an expletive laced “Merry Christmas”…rough around the edges is an
understatement. But, the thing that stands
out the most in my mind- where she is concerned, is her unwavering need to faithfully
ask, “You do realize that you are at risk for sudden death, don’t you?”
Over the years, the
flesh has risen on several occasions to fire back with a tongue capable of
slicing her to ribbons. But instead, I
have nodded knowingly, and prayed that the purpose that she was placed in my
path, or I in hers, would be accomplished- and sooner, rather than later. As gauche as her question always was, there
was merit to what she asked.
The condition that
I have places me on a collision course with heart failure. And for that reason, my heart is monitored
very closely. Time and distance allow me
to live a fairly normal existence, provided only by the grace of God. But, when medical testing intersects with my
way too busy life, reality stinks! And
so, while waiting for test results, I sometimes retreat to that place of
considering “What if?” What if this is
the beginning of the downhill slide that the same awesome nurse has warned me
could “happen quickly”? Or what if the
treatment, that I have been so blessed to be on for the past few years, has run
its course and it’s now time to endure a more invasive one? Thankfully, I’ve never been alone in my place
of retreat!
The past couple of
weeks have been no different. As I
awaited test results, I was reminded of the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and
Abednego. The third chapter of Daniel
relays the story of how they were compelled, by threat of -death by fiery
furnace, to bow down and worship an idol.
Their refusal was succinct. In
verses 17-18, they answered the King saying, “If it be so, our God whom we
serve is able to deliver us out of your hand, O king. But, even if He does not, let it be known to you, O king, that we are not going
to serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.” Just like the three of them, I have come to a
place of understanding that faith in Jesus Christ is not dependent on whether He
chooses to change my circumstances or not.
Just as He walked through the fiery furnace with Shadrach, Meshach, and
Abednego- He walks with me.
My flesh and my heart
may fail, But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 47:3
